I ride a motorcycle and before you ask, Yes, I do wear a helmet. I’m still not sure if Mom is aware of this fact; ever since the ‘incident’ back in High School where I went head-to-bark with a tree I’ve been loath to discuss the entire subject with her. But I digress…
I work in downtown Boston and parking here follows the general rules of economics; a scarce commodity begets high prices. Bearing this in mind, and the fact that most commercial lots do not accept two-wheeled vehicles I opt to park on the street. By .on the street. I mean anyplace I can wedge my scooter into without creating a public nuisance or putting it into the likely path of a garbage truck or Starbucks starved commuter.
In fact, I found a .perfect. place directly across the street from my office. It is a space along the curb approx. 25 feed wide, bounded by posted no parking zones, (what the hell is a .counsul tag. anyway?) centered on a fire hydrant. I back up against the curb, with my rear wheel touching, at one of the extremes of the space to maximize my distance from the hydrant. I.ve parked here on numerous occasions without incident. Imagine my surpize to emerge from my office to discover the day-glow-can-see-it-from-space orange ticket slipped under my seat strap. .HYDRANT. was listed as the violation. I proceeded to step off the distance between the hydrant and my bike, 11 .boots.. (I.ve the happy coincidence of having feet that are close enough to 1 foot long to double as measuring sticks. Thanks Mom & Dad). A few quick snaps with my camphone to document the scene and I was off.
A quick Goggle yielded the following from the Boston Traffic Department (http://www.cityofboston.gov/transportation/pdfs/rules.pdf)
No person shall allow, permit, or suffer, any vehicle registered in his/her name to stop, stand, or park in any street, way, highway, road, or parkway under the control of the City in violation of any of the Rules and Regulations of the Transportation Commission and/or the Commissioner of Transportation of the City of Boston. No driver shall stop, stand, or park a vehicle in any of the following places, except when necessary to avoid conflict with other traffic, pedestrians, or in compliance with the lawful direction of a police officer or official traffic sign, signal, marking, or device.
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6. Upon any street or way within ten (10.) feet of a fire hydrant, the distance to be measured from the point of the edge or curb of said street or way nearest said fire hydrant
Ok, seems straight forward enough. This is the kinda thing that engineers and lawyers like; clear, concise and precise definitions. Obviously, this was not written by a government employee. 😉 I revisited the scene with a measuring tape and a real camera. I measured (11 feet, 8 inches), photographed, danced a little gig, measured some more and went home happy. I wrote my .dispute letter., included all my pics and mailed it off and waited. And waited. And waited. 3 months later I received a letter back with a date 2 months in the future for my hearing. Joy.
On the appointed day I arrived and was ushered into a stark room with concrete walls, ceilings and floor. Hmmm. The official immediately started a cassette recorder and the game was on! She read some legalese about the ticket number, my name, etc. and then prompted me to .state my case.. I whipped out my pics, a hard copy of the relevant statute, etc. It was at this point that she started shaking her head.
As I was explaining the location of my bikes tire on the curb she broke in and said .Yeah. Well. we don.t expect the parking offices to carry around a measuring tape so we use a more practical method of measurement… A dramatic pause ensued and then she dropped the other shoe. .If it appears that a Honda Civic could not fit between the hydrant and the vehicle in question they issue a ticket… I sat in a stunned silence. After a few seconds part of me was screaming to respond .What year Civic?. but judgment got the better of me. I had no response to that statement. How does one respond to utter, absolute nonsense? She went on to say .From these pictures it.s not clear to me that a Civic would fit between the hydrant and your vehicle… In a desperate attempt to regain my footing I referred to the statute being very clear in the 10 foot definition. She paried with .We don.t second guess our officers… Again with the nonsense. At this point, I.m stupefied.
As I sit there, unable to focus on events around me, she is mumbling something about .don.t do it again. and .next time we.ll boot you.. I finally notice that she is staring at me and stuffing things into folders before I respond with a feeble .Of course, thank you… So I guess this is now on my .permanent record. .
Two days later I parked in exactly the same place . no ticket. Life is good.