This is the last of the archival posts. My life has changed dramatically since this was written; I’m sure that my note would be quite different now. Perhaps I’ll do this exercise again soon.
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What is it about travelling that puts me into a retrospective mood? All that free time staring at clouds? Or perhaps it.s all those other people whizzing by whilst I wait oh-so-impatiently for my thrice delayed flight?Whatever it is, I like so many others made the pilgrimage back .home. for Christmas this year. And being that this is the busiest travel season of the year, I had plenty of time for retrospection. Now combine this retrospective mood with several hours in the smallest plane ever made, sitting about 4 inches from a Cuisinenart-like propeller and one.s mind begins to consider one.s mortality.People often ask “What would you do if you only had a month/year/day to live?”. Well, when your sitting in a coffin shaped machine with two sets of feverishly spinning knives next to your ear a day seems like a very long time. So I began to ponder; “What would I do if I had one minute to live?”.
I would leave a note. (Yes, I know. If the plane did crash the chances of a note surviving are pretty remote but work with me here people!) On the note I would say those things to those important people in my life that I never got around to or didn.t have the stones to tell them before that impossibly fast moving propeller spins off it.s shaft and we tumble to Earth like a broken kite. Here are a few of the things I came up with. I.ve replaced the names to protect them, and me. Don.t even try to guess cuz I ain.t gonna tell and none of them are on AOL.
| Mom: | I know you mean well, but quit asking about my love life will ya! 😉 I love you Mom |
| Dad: | You.re the greatest man I.ve ever known or read about. Whenever I.m faced with a moral dilemma I just ask myself “What would Dad do?” and it becomes clear to me. I love you Dad. |
| Lucy: | My first real love, nothing but the joy of that remains in my memory. I.m happy for your success, I always knew you had it in you. |
| Hillary: | Nurture that spark I saw in your eyes. Within that spark is the light of childlike wonder that will bring you the happiness and spiritual understanding that you so richly deserve. I.m sorry I wasn.t the one to kindle that flame. |
| Dana: | You are new in my life but already you have given me a great gift. That feeling of trust, of openness, the .connection. that I thought was gone forever from my life I feel with you. Thank You. |
| Fred & Ginger | You have helped me through the most difficult times of my life, you are my family here. I love you both, I hope I can return the favor someday. |
Ok, so that was way over a minute, but you get the idea. There are many others, including many of my friends on AOL. After much consideration I decided not to include any AOL folks in this column. We all know the ‘drama’ that this place can generate; something that none of us need any more of in our lives.
This isn’t really about mortality, it’s about living. It is about living one’s life communicating your true feelings; living without regrets, and living with an openness that embraces those closest to you. While I was considering this I cried some, I laughed some and I thought a great deal about those people that are important in my life. After all, isn.t that what this season; what all these plastic Santas, animated TV specials and Furbys are all about?
What would your note say?